Thursday, July 17, 2014

Fear Leads to Frustration

This peaceful scene from yesterday's lunch
truly depicts how I feel... 
Friends have asked me how my mom is doing, 
and how I am doing dealing with her.

In reflection
I used to respond to repeated questions with frustration,
and the real source of that frustration was FEAR.
Fear of the unknown, of the future,
of the responsibility.

So what changed?
I still don't know what the future holds
and the responsibility will only increase.

We do, however, have legal and financial experts in place,
and have taken steps to simplify what we can.

And God has graciously increased my patience and compassion,
which has led to my sense of peace
and enjoyment of times with Mom.

Friday, February 7, 2014

3 years

My dad left this earth three years ago today. I know that Mom misses him every day, but wasn't sure if she would remember this anniversary.  She didn't.  Or at least she didn't mention it as I had dinner with her and then spent a couple hours up in her apartment.  I didn't bring it up either...
I had decided that I needed to be with her this evening, and that was important to me.

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Walking on Ice

So far, 2014 has felt like walking on ice.
New health challenges with Mom, 
a talk with the social worker at Oakwood,
second guessing myself
just wanting to do what's best for us all...

there are times when I feel I've fallen flat like I did in the icy parking lot at school,
and other times, like today, when I feel my footing is a bit more sure...

such a slippery path
this journey to the unknown